Core Thriving Life Values and Practices
These are the core values and practices that help us honor and support everyone’s thriving:
- COMPASSION: Understanding that everyone – including you and me – are just trying to thrive (be happy), even when we act without awareness or skill, or out of pain that’s too much for us to hold. Underneath everything, we all feel — and in an important way really are — innocent. (Important: See “Living in Alignment/Being Accountable,” below.)
- DIGNITY, RESPECT, and TENDERNESS FOR OURSELVES & EACH OTHER, including acknowledging both our shared humanity and our healthy separateness. We recognize that each of us has extraordinary power and gifts. We also acknowledge that each of us has wounds and weaknesses that we ourselves are aware of, and — perhaps most important of all — each of us also has wounds and weaknesses that we are unaware of (blind spots)
- AUTHENTICITY/TRANSPARENCY: being real human beings with each other; acknowledging our shared humanity, which includes our power and gifts, as well as our wounds, weaknesses, and blind spots
- LIVING IN ALIGNMENT WITH OUR VALUES AND BEING ACCOUNTABLE FOR OUR DIRECT IMPACT ON OTHERS, perhaps most especially including recognizing and acknowledging when there’s a Gap between what we’re able to do and what we’re committed to, being responsible for the direct* impact our out-of-alignment words or actions have on others, and cultivating our ever-growing capacity to Be the person we most want to be and to Create what we most want to contribute in Life
- ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR OWN WELL-BEING, including acknowledging that we are the ultimate author of our own lives and experience, and setting boundaries (making choices and taking actions) that support our thriving, especially in the face of “outside” circumstances or other’s choices that we don’t have direct control over, that diminish our well-being. As adults we are never, ever without choice or power, no matter what’s happening.
- DEEPENING OUR CAPACITY TO BE PRESENT AND AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW, including learning how to notice and experience our present-moment body sensations, feelings, thoughts, and impulses … without having to numb, avoid, change, or fix them, AND without getting overwhelmed or flooded
- LIVING FROM WHAT’S MOST ALIVE IN US, in a way that aligns with our values and considers the direct* impact of our choices on others
- CREATING, MODIFYING, RESTORING, & DISSOLVING AGREEMENTS IN WAYS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO EVERYONE’S THRIVING, because our agreements are there to serve us (not the other way around)
- UNDERSTANDING DISCOMFORT, PAIN, & UPSETS AS GUIDES, INVITING US TOWARD GREATER THRIVING & HAPPINESS, including identifying and tending to the unmet needs that these announce
- RECOGNIZING THAT OUR GREATEST PRESENT-MOMENT PAIN OFTEN COMES FROM WITHIN US (rather than from anything outside of us, like circumstances, or others’ actions), and doing the inner work needed to discover where our pain is coming from — from the past and our inner orphans/“broken toes” , or from direct, present-moment actions of others (because of how our human nervous systems are wired). NOTE: See “Accepting Responsibility,” above. While we may not be able to choose how our nervous system responds in the moment to what someone has said or done, we have choice about the meaning we give it, how we engage with it after it’s happened, and how we prepare ourselves to respond to it in the future.
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